


Brown Eyed Girl

by Littleviolentone



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Fever Dreams, Hurt Angus Macgyver (Macgyver 2016), Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, Prophetic Dreams, Soulmates, sorta?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:34:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29328591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littleviolentone/pseuds/Littleviolentone
Summary: Mac knew he was dreaming.There was no other explanation for the haze of the world around him. He didn't remember how he had gotten here, couldn't really say where "here" was for that matter.He looked down into the face of what could only be his daughter. He took in her dark hair and warm brown eyes that must belong to her mother, but that was his dimpled cheek and his crooked grin on her beautiful little face.
Relationships: Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 110
Kudos: 212





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm giving macriley a dream baby. No I don't know where I'm going with this. 
> 
> Could be considered part of the Anger of A Gentle Man series if you squint, but not really. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Mac knew he was dreaming.

There was no other explanation for the haze of the world around him. He didn't remember how he had gotten here, couldn't really say where "here" was for that matter. 

The walls around him were out of focus, but that was fine. Near as he could tell he was walking through the hall of a daycare, a strange thing to dream about, but no cause for alarm. 

In the back of his mind Mac was sure he was supposed to be doing something, something important. He got the feeling that he was in some sort of danger but it was hard to sort out why.

As if he were watching someone else, Mac felt himself stop at a door in the dreamscape hallway. He scribbled something into a clipboard by wrote just in time to catch the little body that launched itself into his arms.

"Daddy! Lookit, lookit what I made!!" Squeaked a tiny voice from under a massive flurry of dark hair. 

Mac found himself combing back the curls on instinct to reveal a pair of beautiful brown eyes that were at the same time brand new and achingly familiar. 

The little girl held up a paper full of multi-colored squiggles with a proud grin.

"Good job baby girl!" Mac felt the words leave his throat. 

His body knew what to do; collect the girl's bag, wave goodbye to teacher, head out to the car. But in his head Mac was floored.

He looked down into the face of what could only be his daughter. He took in her dark hair and warm brown eyes that must belong to her mother, but that was his dimpled cheek and his crooked grin on her beautiful little face.

He stared in awe at his child as she babbled happily about her day. He had so many questions to ask her; who was her mother, how did he get here, what was her name? But in this dream state his body wouldn't cooperate. 

His baby lead him by the hand further and further along. At some point the dream shifted and they were walking through the woods. He could hear voices in the trees, voices he could swear he knew calling out his name like whispers on the breeze. 

"Oh," the child's hand suddenly clutched his tighter. "Daddy, you're hurt!"

"What, no I'm not honey," Mac tried to reassure her.

Her little head nodded insistently while her eyes welled up with tears. "You are! Your hurt!" 

Mac was on his knees holding his baby close, trying to give her some kind of comfort, all while blocking out the voices growing more insistent on the air.

"I'm fine baby, Daddy's fine. Daddy's not hurt." He tried to soothe, running a hand down her wild dark hair. But he could tell by the sobs into his chest and the way her little body trembled in his arms that she didn't believe him.

"Yes you are," she insisted. "Look!" She held up two little hands, now both slick up to the elbow with what Mac knew to be his blood.

The voices in the wind were screaming for him now. His daughter was crying and pulling on his shoulder, and Mac had never felt so helpless. Little bloodstained hands pushed him to lie on his back.

"Go back, Daddy! You have to go back!"

"I'm not leaving you alone!" He said, or tried to as he coughed up blood. His baby screamed.

"Go back to Mama!" She sobbed, pulling at his shirt. "Mama will fix you! Find Mama!"

With a moment of sudden clarity, he reached out a hand to lift her beautiful little face up to his and called her by name; "Jacqueline."

She smiled through her tears and whispered "bye, Daddy." Before everything went black.

When his eyes opened again the world made more sense. He remembered the mission to transport political prisoners through the mountains. He remembered Riley falling behind and going back for her while Desi and Boze lead the others. 

He remembered the attack and Riley screaming his name, he even had a vague recollection of of being carried out via helicopter. Yes the world made sense again. 

But why then could he still see his daughter in his mind? Why did he know what it felt like to hold her slight weight in his arms? Why did his heart break when she wasn't by his hospital bed, holding his hand? And why, oh why, did his daughter who only existed in his mind, look just like Riley?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You asked, so here it is. I'll be honest, I'm not entirely sure where I want to go with this story yet. I would be very interested in reading any ideas you might have?
> 
> Love,  
> Little Violent One

Something was off with Mac, Riley could tell.

It wasn't just the blood loss like Desi and the doctors kept saying. And it wasn't him being pissed about having to go through physical therapy again like Matty and Bozer kept insisting. It had been almost a month, twenty-seven days to be exact, and Mac had hardly looked her in the eye.

He wasn't rude to her, he wasn't mean. Hell, she almost wished he would be mean, it would be a vast improvement over this... nothing.

In twenty-seven days all of Mac's interactions with Riley could be summed up in the words "polite and professional". It reminded her of the first couple missions she'd worked on back when it was DXS instead of the Phoenix. Mac had been polite but distant until Riley had proven that she wasn't just some hacker ex-con, that she could be trusted.

But since this last mission? Mac went out of his way not to touch her if it wasn't required. He didn't check in with her anymore, he didn't joke around, he didn't play. Riley couldn't figure it out.

Where had her friend gone and who was this man sitting in his place? Because this wasn't her MacGyver. 

This wasn't the man who improvised a grenade to save her from a serial killer. This wasn't the man who went up against Jack to let her out in the field on her own. And this, most assuredly, was not the man who let her sob into his arms after Billy had hurt her.

She had tried to talk to him at work, but ever the genius, Mac always managed to "improvise" his way out of a conversation. Riley's emotions had run the gamut from pissed off to worried sick and back again several times, now she was determined. If she had done something to Mac to make him pull back like this then he needed to tell her so she could fix it.

Back when they had first sprung her from super-max, Riley had been desperate for someone to think she was useful enough to keep around. She had been too angry to try and appeal to Jack, and Thornton was impossible to crack, so she had focused on Mac. On making him see her as useful, as valuable. If she could convince Mac to want to keep her, then she wouldn't have to go back to prison. 

She had gone out of her way to impress him. He was smart, so she showed off her intellect. He was kind to people, so she let him see her compassion. She observed, and asked questions, and even flirted (not that Mac had picked up on it) until she felt safe enough to just be her complete self with him. To have that kind of companionship just suddenly lacking from her life was jarring in the extreme, and she needed to know the reason for it.

It was almost 10:30 pm, Bozer was out, Mac was home alone, and Riley was on a mission.

Using the key Bozer had given her "for, ya' know, emergencies?" Riley let herself into Mac's house unannounced and followed the smell of wood smoke out to the firepit where she saw Mac sitting, staring blankly at the flames.

"I didn't hear you knock," his low voice startled her. His eyes didn't leave the fire.

"Jack said family doesn't knock," she joked, earning herself a small smile from the man in front of her. "Are we still?"

"Are we still what?"

"Family. Are we still family, Mac?" she asked on a whisper. Those beautiful blue eyes that she missed so much snapped up to hers for the first time in twenty-seven days, and he looked just as brittle as she felt.

"Of course we're family, Riles" he rasped out.

"Then what's been going on?" she demanded. "I mean, you've hardly even looked at me all month! You won't talk to me, you won't come out with me. Di-did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me, is that what this is?" 

"No," he cried, rising to his feet. "No, Riles! I- Jesus. I'm not mad at you, you didn't do anything. I just..."

"Just what?" she could feel tears rising in her throat even as she tried to hold them back. "If it's not me then why are you pulling away? I can see that you're messed up about something, but you won't let me help. You won't let anyone help! You're just pulling away from me. And you are too important a person in my life to just fade away. Elwood left. Jack left, twice! So god damnit, Angus MacGyver if you're going to leave me too then you are damn well going to tell me why first!"

The next thing Riley knew she was in his arms, and it was like the floodgates had been opened. Relief, anger, fear, worry, it all rushed out of her in a flood of tears. Everything that she had been feeling over the past month was suddenly there trying to choke her all at once, and the only thing keeping her on her feet was Mac. He held her up, pulled her close, and whispered apologies and reassurances into her hair.

When she had calmed down somewhat, Mac sat them down on a patio chair but kept his arms firmly around Riley.

"I'm not leaving. I'm not ever leaving you Riles. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He pulled her chin up with his knuckle so she was looking him in the eyes and held her there until she nodded that she understood.

"What's going on?" she asked again, shakier this time. God, she hated crying.

The hand on her chin dropped to wrap around her fingers, the other maintained a steady pace, smoothing up and down her back while he took a deep breath to collect himself.

"I'm not even sure how to explain it," he began. "When I lost all that blood, I guess I kinda fell into a sort of coma like dream state. And now that I'm awake, I just, I miss..."

"You miss... your dream?" she guessed. He shook his head and appeared to be struggling for words. "Then what?"

"There was this girl, in the dream."

"Oh," Riley suddenly felt cold despite the fire. "You fell in love in your coma dream?"

"No! No, it was nothing like that!" he insisted. "She was little, maybe three or four years old."

Riley was confused now. "What was so special about her?" she asked gently.

"She was..." Mac's struggle was visibly increasing. He looked almost physically pained at this point. "Mine. She was mine."

"What do you mean yours? Like... like she was your daughter or something?" she asked. Mac scraped a hand roughly through his hair and nodded, looking heartbroken.

"Why didn't you think you could tell me that?"

"And say what, Riles?" he asked, dropping his head. "That I'm in mourning for the loss of a child that never existed in the first place? That I miss a daughter that I don't have? How well do you think that would that have gone over?" 

"I could have helped you sooner!" she said. Mac was on his feet now, pacing and shaking his head.

"I could have!" Riley insisted. "I could have at least tried!"

"No."

"Why not, Mac? What aren't you telling me?" she demanded.

Mac shook his head again and kept his eyes averted. There were tears rolling down his cheeks now. He was in agony, but he was still keeping her at arms length and she couldn't figure out why.

"Mac," she whispered, catching his face in her hands and holding eye contact, much as he had done before. "Mac, tell me. Please."

There was a long pause where whole conversations were had without a word being spoken. She begged him to let her in, let her take some of the weight from his shoulders. Equally desperate, Mac begged her to let him keep his silence, but she refused. He sighed in defeat.

"Because she had your eyes," he said. Riley felt the floor drop out from under her boots. "I dreamt about the most beautiful, perfect child I'd ever known. And she was perfect because she was ours! Yours and mine! She had your eyes and my smile, and she was beautiful. But when I woke up, she wasn't real. And I couldn't ask you to grieve the loss of a child that only ever existed in my head! You didn't ask for that, and I wasn't gonna put it on you! God, this is so fucked up now. I'm so sorry Riles."

Mac continued to apologize, but Riley couldn't hear his words over the ringing in her ears. Their child. He'd dreamt about their child. He'd called her perfect and beautiful. The whole world was vibrating, she couldn't get enough air into her lungs. She needed to ask him a question. A question she never thought she'd have to voice. Riley reached up and gently pressed her hands into Mac's chest, to draw his attention and silence him. She locked eyes with him for a full minute before opening her mouth.

"Her name was Jacqueline, wasn't it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... did this just turn into a soulmates AU? Is that what just happened?
> 
> Please tell me what you guys think, like I said I don't have much of a plan here.
> 
> Also! (off topic) It occurred to me while editing this that "Desi and the Doctors" would make a great band name!
> 
> Love,  
> Little Violent One


	3. Chapter 3

Mac continued to apologize, but Riley couldn't hear his words over the ringing in her ears. Their child. He'd dreamt about their child. He'd called her perfect and beautiful. The whole world was vibrating, she couldn't get enough air into her lungs. She needed to ask him a question. A question she never thought she'd have to voice. Riley reached up and gently pressed her hands into Mac's chest, to draw his attention and silence him. She locked eyes with him for a full minute before opening her mouth.

"Her name was Jacqueline, wasn't it?"

Mac couldn't breath. If it wasn't for Riley holding him up, his knees would have collapsed right out from underneath him. Riley knew her name. How? How was that even remotely possible? Jacqueline didn't actually exist. She was a figment of his imagination brought on by a combination of blood loss, physical trauma, heavy medication, and random synaptic firings in the brain. There was no way Riley could know the name of his hallucinated daughter, but she did.

It took a while for the world to right its self again and when it did his hands were on either side of Riley’s pretty face, holding her in place as she did nothing to stop the flow of tears down her cheeks.

“The Olvera mission,” she began unprompted. “After I was poisoned, I-I had a dream too, Mac”

“What about?” he demanded, and even to his own ears his voice sounded wrecked. Control. He needed to get control.

“I was having a picnic on a beach with a little girl,” her voice was barely a whisper, but Mac hung on every word. “She was beautiful. She was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and she called me Mama. After a while she got scared, I tried to calm her down but she wouldn’t listen. She kept insisting I was hurt and that I had find Daddy, she said Daddy would fix me. She never told me her name but I knew what it was.”

Mac’s whole world was shaking, the story was so familiar that he would have said Riley was just copying his except he hadn’t told her any specifics of his dream. What the hell was going on?

“When I woke up you were standing there, holding me. And my baby was gone- oh god!” her voice broke mid sentence. Mac had no choice but to cradle her to his chest, holding her was as vital as his next breath. 

“My baby was gone, but you were there and you had the same smile, and the same way of moving your hands when you talk. But none of it was real, she didn’t really exist. She wasn’t really ours. And as much as I wanted to come to you about it, I couldn't. Jack was leaving, I had Billy, you were still dealing with your Dad. There were so many reasons I couldn't just ask you to kiss it all better for me. But that was the only thing I wanted to do, Mac. God help me, that was all I wanted.”

Mac remembered that mission. He had been so relieved when she had woken up on that metal table, and so desperate to catch the person who’d hurt her, that at first he hadn’t noticed the way she had clung onto him like he was the only safe space in world.

She had been strange for a long while after that mission, he recalled. At the time he had chalked it up to missing Jack, but now he knew that wasn’t the whole story.

He didn’t know what to do. Riley had just described almost exactly the same dream he’d had. Exactly the same heartache. And just like him, she had said that the only thing that she had wanted to do when she woke up was to come to him and have him kiss it all better.

That had been exactly the urge he’d been fighting when she walked through his door tonight. The overwhelming desire to let all of his fear and pain and confusion melt away for as long as Riley’s lips were on his. He had fought that desire tooth and nail, because she wouldn’t understand why he needed her, or so Mac had thought.

Here she was, late at night, tucked safely into his chest, telling him she understood exactly why, telling him that she needed him too. Holding her now was the most peace Mac had felt in twenty-seven days, twenty-two hours, thirty-five minutes and seventeen seconds. 

“What’s happening to us Mac?” she asked against the skin at the base of his throat.

“I don’t know,” he whispered.

“Was any of it real?” her voice came through silent tears that soaked into the collar of his shirt. “Was she real?”

“I don’t know,” he repeated, pained.

Riley pulled back just far enough to look him in the eyes. Her hands stayed knotted in the soft white material of his shirt and his palms stayed planted at the small of her back, locking them together.

“Do you wish she was real? Do you wish she was here as badly as I do?”

There were so many things going through Mac’s head. He wanted his daughter. He missed the phantom weight of her in his arms that he had never actually felt before. He wanted to know more about their shared dream and what it all meant. And most of all he wanted a reason, any reason at all, to not have to let Riley go ever again. He wanted to be able to hold her, just like this, for the rest of his life.

“Yes,” he gave her the only answer he could. He gave her the absolute truth.

She nodded and took a deep, steadying breath in. Mac could feel her rib cage expand and contract under his hands. If he were to slide his hand up a few inches he’d be able to feel her beating heart drumming away under his palm. It was a heady thing; to feel how real, how alive she was against him.

She closed her eyes and fell into his chest again. Tucking her head under his chin the way she wanted to would have been easier if hadn’t been wearing such thick soled boots, but neither one of them was willing to let go, so they made due.

Eventually they made their way back to the patio chair and laid down together. It was so late now, the fire had burned down to embers and ashes. The wind whistled over his roof, and the LA skyline glittered below them, and the only thing Mac was absolutely sure about was how much he loved the woman in his arms.

He thought she had fallen asleep when he whispered the words into her hair. He said them not to get a response, but rather because he couldn't bare not to say them anymore. So when her quiet voice hummed “I love you, too” into his skin, his heart nearly burst.

The next day Mac woke at dawn to sunlight and Riley shivering in his arms in the early morning breeze. He was surprised he didn’t wake her up with all the shuffling around he had to do in order to lift her off the chair and carry her back into his house.

He chose not to examine why he bypassed the couch and took her directly to his bedroom. He chose not to acknowledge how utterly right she looked laying there on his sheets as he took off her boots and leather jacket. He just climbed onto the mattress with her, pulled up the covers, and closed his eyes. 

When Mac opened his eyes again, he and Riley were tangled together from head to toe, and he could hear Bozer in the kitchen making breakfast. He looked down to see a familiar pair of beautiful brown eyes looking up at him framed by a wild mass of dark curls.

She was so beautiful, and for a moment Mac was overcome with want. His desire for Riley was not unfamiliar but it was more real and more visceral than he had ever felt it before. Judging by the uptick in her breathing, and the way her nails were starting to dig into the skin on the back of his neck, she felt the same way.

No. 

Not yet. Not now. They were both still too raw from baring their souls to each other last night. He could still see tear tracks and mascara trailing down her cheeks. While Mac had had more than a few dreams about all the various ways he could mess up Riley’s makeup, right now wasn’t the time to be playing them out.

“Hey, Mac!” Bozer shouted happily from the kitchen. “If you and Riley want any of these waffles, I suggest you get your butts out here!” 

Riley’s wide shocked eyes mirrored his own, but before he could say anything Bozer’s voice came again.

“Waffles, y’all! From scratch! Now get out here and tell me what the hell is going on with you two!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bozer knows.
> 
> And he made waffles.
> 
> I am so sorry this took so long guys. My adhd demanded that I binge watch all of Criminal Minds before I could get back to MacRiley. 
> 
> Please keep the ideas coming I love reading them and they were super helpful with this chapter. I want to keep this going.
> 
> Love,  
> Little Violent One


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this chapter was really hard to write because there were so many things I wanted to do with it. Hopefully what I ended up with is okay.
> 
> Love,   
> Little Violent One

Riley was feeling a lot right now.

In the past few hours she had; thought she was losing Mac, found out Mac had dreamed about their child, confessed to having a very similar dream, cried way too much, and then fallen asleep in his arms on the patio only to wake up in his arms in his bed.

He’d said he loved her. She’d said it back.

It’d been a hell of a night. 

Now, to save her self further exhaustion, she was choosing to focus on one thing at a time. Namely Mac, and how badly she wanted him. 

When Riley had opened her eyes that morning, Mac was already looking down at her, blue eyes blown wide. One of his hands had drifted under her shirt while they slept and was clamped over the skin of her hip. His thigh was slotted between hers almost perfectly, and she had been trying to figure out how to get things going when Bozer called.

Now the three of them were sitting around the rarely used breakfast table, awkwardly cutting into Bozer’s admittedly delicious waffles.

“So given the fact that both of you have clearly slept in your jeans I’m going to assume that y’all, in fact, did not bang.”

“What the fuck, Boze?” Mac snapped at his friend. Riley’s mouth was full of breakfast so she could only express her shocked offence by leveling a glare across the table.

“Am I wrong?” he asked, not sounding sorry in the slightest. Riley shook her head in answer. “Alright then. Look, I know you’ve been down since our last mission, and I know Riley’s been worried sick about you. Clearly something happened last night! But the two of you are my friends and just because I don’t want to know all the details, like seriously, doesn’t mean I can’t tell somethings up. So spill.”

Mac caught her eye, silently asking if she was okay with Bozer knowing. After a moments deliberation, she nodded. Mac started first going into more detail about the dream then he had last night with her. His voice caught on Jacqueline’s name more than once. Then it was Riley’s turn, she spoke quickly and kept her eyes down. When she talked about waking up without her baby Mac’s hand laced with hers unprompted and stayed there.

Riley wasn’t sure exactly how she was expecting Bozer to react to their stories. Disbelief maybe, at worst he’d think they were joking and try to laugh it off, but he didn’t do any of that. He just leaned back in his chair nodding his head like this wasn’t the most bizarre story he’d ever heard.

“Huh,” he spoke almost to himself. “Nana was right.”

“About what?” Mac asked his friend incredulously.

“Soulmates. That’s what the mirrored dreams mean; you’re soulmates.”

Riley was floored already pulling out her phone to try and research the topic. Soulmates were believed by many scientifically minded people to be pure fiction, yet most practicing religions had some form of soulmates in their belief system. It was no surprise to her where Mac stood on this debate.

“No offense, Boze. You know I love your Nana, but soulmates aren’t real.” Mac restrained an eye roll.

“So you say.” Bozer answered with a grin.

“Yeah,” Mac’s voice took on that slightly arrogant tone he had when he was annoyed and thought someone was being stupid. “Me and the majority of the Scientific Community.” 

“You don’t believe it?” Bozer smugly waited for Mac to shake his head. “Then give me a scientific reason why the two of you would have such vivid dreams about the exact same child.”

Mac was stumped.

“You can’t, can you? So what does that leave you with?” 

Once again, Mac was at a loss for words. Riley, for her part, was finding it difficult to deny how well the soulmate myth fit them based on recent events. But even so the idea of Riley of all people having a soulmate, of that soulmate being Angus MacGyver, was overwhelming to say the least.

“Okay, forget about the soulmate thing for a second.” Bozer said looking seriously between the two of them. “Just answer one question; Are you capable of letting each other go, or do you love each other enough to give this a shot?”

Riley’s gaze was pulled to Mac’s and held. He was all tousled blond hair, and deep blue eyes that seemed to be breaking her down the same way he broke down his surroundings before building the impossible. Could she give him up? Now that she new the peace of falling asleep in his arms, of waking to the sound of his even breathing, could she let him go?

No. Riley didn’t think she could, and even if it were possible she didn’t want to.

They exchanged no words, they didn’t need to. Whatever else was happening between them, she loved him, and he loved her. They clasped each others hands over the table and breathed together in relief.

Riley and Mac had been together for two months, and they were happy. Things stayed much the same as they had been when they were just friends. They talked, and teased, and flowed together as seamlessly as they ever had. Now though, they were aloud to touch in a way they hadn’t before.

If Mac was spiraling, Riley was allowed to kiss him to bring him back to level. Mac was allowed to massage Riley’s shoulders and kiss her neck to get her to take a break from her computer for the first time in hours. 

There were still nights when they ached for their phantom child. They talked about her often, wondering if there was anything about their baby that was real. They knew her face, her laugh, the tight grip of her little hugs, but they had no real child to hold. It broke both their hearts.

But at the same time, could they justify actually trying to bring their dream into reality? The two of them had only just started dating, in many ways they were still figuring each other out. They also both had extremely dangerous jobs. Their lives were in massive amounts of danger on a regular, almost weekly basis. Both of them had been held captive homicidal maniacs, more than once. What kind of life was that for a child? But whether it was wise or not, that didn’t make the two agents want their baby any less.

Their most recent mission found them in the south of Spain. They were trying to intercept the sale of unstable soviet-era chemical weapons from a local arms dealer who was try to make a name for himself on the global stage.

Riley had outdone herself this time. Her digital sleuthing had uncovered almost the whole plan. They were able to get into the party for the weapons buy unnoticed. And while Riley caused a distraction by hacking the sound system so it spouted nothing but feedback, Mac was neutralizing the weapon.

Trouble didn’t come until they were trying to leave the party. Evidently Mac’s idea of “neutralizing” the weapon was to burn the chemical away so it couldn't be deployed. This would have been fine if it weren’t for the fact that the building had caught fire in the process. 

Now they were running through the woods, being chased by the arms dealer’s security team, and desperately calling for exfil coordinates from Matty. 

They were both in party clothes to blend in with the other buyers. Riley had twisted her ankle a while ago and was now running barefoot, having left her heels embedded in the mud behind her. Mac was now half dragging her through the trees as they continued to flee. 

By the time they had lost the security team, Riley’s ankle was screaming. Mac had her sitting on a fallen tree, and was assessing her condition the second he deemed it safe enough to stop.

“Matty, we’ve got a problem,” Mac called to their leader via coms. “You’ve gotta send exfil to us, cause we’re not moving.”

“What’s happening?” she demanded. Riley was struggling to control her breathing as her painted finger nails dug into the bark of the tree beneath her in an effort to lessen the throbbing in her leg.

“Riley’s ankle is sprained, possibly broken. It’s swollen up bad, and she’s starting to hyperventilate. If I make her keep moving on it, I am seriously concerned she could go into shock.” he relaid to their boss while wrapping his suit jacket around Riley’s bare shoulders.

“Alright Mac,” came Matty’s response. “Stay low, and take care of our girl. I’m gonna try and get someone to you as fast as I can.”

“Copy that.” he answered. Riley wanted to say something, to say anything that would ease that strained look on Mac’s face, but controlling her breathing took up too much effort.

She watched through tear-blurred eyes as Mac took off his dress shirt, leaving him in his trousers and t-shirt, and began tearing it into strips to bandage her ankle. It hurt, it hurt like hell. She knew it had to be done, did her best to hold still, but that didn’t stop the tears streaming down her face or her muffled cries of pain. Then everything went black.

Riley opened her eyes to a dream. It had to be a dream.

If she concentrated then the walls around her kinda looked like Mac’s bedroom, but everything was too hazy to be sure.

She felt movement at her side and rolled over in bed to find a little girl in blue footie-pajamas already snuggled into her side.

“Jacqueline!” she gasped. Riley was met with her own mirrored eyes and Mac’s crooked grin as her heart burst with joy.

“Hi, Mama.”

Riley pulled her baby into her arms and held her close. She peppered the tiny beautiful face with kisses and was rewarded with a shrieking giggle.

“Oh, I missed you.” she mumbled into her daughter’s wild hair. “I missed you so much, Baby.”

“I missed you too, Mama! But it’s not time yet, you should be with Daddy” the child said seriously.

“Time for what, Jacqueline? What do you mean?”

“It’s not time for me to be with you and Daddy yet,” she explained. “You aren’t ready for me to be real yet, so I have to stay here until you both decide you want me.”

“Oh no, Honey!” Riley rushed to assure her. “We do want you, I promise you we do! I love you, and your Daddy loves you. We both miss you every day!” She clutched her little girl to her chest and stroked her hair as she spoke, not sure who she was trying to sooth more.

“I know, Mama. But it isn’t time yet.”

“When will it be time?” Riley begged.

“I don’t know, soon I think.” Jacqueline snuggled deeper into her mother’s arms, seeming lost in thought for a moment. “Mama, can you ask Daddy a question for me when you go back?”

Riley was fighting back tears and couldn't answer, but she nodded her agreement anyway.

“Could you ask him, why singing my lullaby makes him so sad?”

Riley was confused, Mac didn’t sing at all, but before she could ask any clarifying questions the world faded away. Her baby had vanished again, and when she opened her eyes she was in a hospital bed with Mac standing over her looking worried.

The world was taking far to long to right it’s self. Trying to think was like trying to stir cold concrete, but even so Riley recognized the shock on her beloved Mac’s face when she relayed the question that their daughter wanted her to ask. His voice shook when he answered.

“It was what my mother sang to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your ongoing support is so SO appreciated. I honestly cannot thank you all enough. Please drop a comment, I love to hear from you all and to see your ideas!
> 
> Love,  
> Little Violent One


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the lullaby I'm using is "I'll Take You Dreaming" by Danny Kaye. It's short and sweet and I love it. 
> 
> I'm sorry this chapter isn't longer, but no matter what I did it wanted to end here and I've learned not to argue with my muse too much. I hope this is okay.
> 
> Love,  
> Little Violent One

Loo, loo, loo, I'll take you dreaming  
Through the rainy night  
To a place behind the raindrops  
Where the stars are bright

You may not find gold or silver  
But a richer prize  
Waits for you behind the raindrops  
If you close your eyes

Tonight, tonight  
When all the world's asleep  
We will tiptoe home with a wonderous star  
A star you can always keep

And years from now when you go dreaming  
When you're very old  
Though your crown be rich with rubies  
Diamonds set in gold  
None will shine as bright  
As the star we'll find  
Tonight

Mac didn’t sing.

He wasn’t very good at it, unless the song was simple it was hard for him to stay on pitch. It really wasn’t something he liked doing, or was comfortable telling other people about. 

Which is why he was so startled by Riley’s question when she woke up. He had never told her about the lullaby his mother used to sing for him. He hadn’t told her about how he still hums the same song to himself when he wakes up from nightmares. And he’d certainly never told Riley that he’d thought about singing Jacqueline to sleep with that lullaby every single night since he had first dreamed about his daughter. 

Once she was a little less groggy Riley had described her most recent dream to him through fresh tears and renewed heartbreak. Mac had crushed her to his chest feeling a strange mix of elation, sympathy, and envy as his soulmate described her latest encounter with their phantom child.

Soulmate.

That was something else Mac was still coming to terms with. Soulmates existed, and he had one. Hell, he WAS one.

His soulmate was Riley Davis, and he was hers.

What the ever loving fuck had happened to the world?

He had never been a believer. Mac, along with the majority of the scientific community, had found the idea of the perfect matched partner that was destined just for you to be profoundly absurd. Any metric used to try and quantify the phenomenon known as “soulmates” concluded them to be impossible. A silly fantasy used to make desperate lonely people feel special for a few seconds. 

But Mac couldn't discount his own first hand observations. Observation number one: Both he and Riley were having connected (but not identical) dreams about a child that appeared to be theirs.

Observation number two: The dreams had thus far only occurred when one or the other of them had been injured to the point of hospitalization. Their dream child also seemed aware of their physical states and had stated the other would “fix” them.

Observation number three: Through the dreams about this child they had access to information about each other that had not been previously stated out loud and was not easily learned (e.g. Riley’s knowledge of his mother’s lullaby)

Try as he might, and he had tried, Mac just couldn't come up with an answer that covered all of his observations. Nothing fit. Nothing but Soulmates. 

After her most recent dream Riley wasn’t doing well, but at least she wasn’t grieving alone this time. She had told him what their baby had said, that they weren’t ready for her to be real, and that they had to both decide that they wanted her. 

It broke his heart to hear. Of course they wanted her! She was their daughter and whether or not she was real, or not real yet, or whatever else, did not prevent Mac from loving her with everything he had! His love for Riley was just as all consuming, but felt more tangible because he could hold her in his arms. They were his. His girls, his loves. He loved the both of them with every single atom of his existence.

And if that meant that he and Riley were soulmates, then fuck it all, fine! They were soulmates! Science was wrong! Mac found that he really didn’t care so long as he got to love someone who wasn’t going to leave him like so many others in his life had.

Desi and Mac were flying back home from their most recent mission in Germany that, compared to most others, was almost boring.

No one had died. There was very little fighting. The most serious injury sustained was a minor burn to Desi’s arm. For the most part everything had gone smoothly. Which is why Mac was so confused when he found himself dreaming.

His surroundings were as hazy as ever, he thought he might have recognized the lake side he liked to camp at but he couldn't be sure.

“Watch this, Daddy! Watch what I can do!” shrieked a little voice to his right.

Mac turned just in time to watch a dark-haired blur let go of a rope swing and land in the water with a splash. Pride and worry vied for first place in his heart as he watched his baby resurface and begin doggy paddling back to shore. Pride won out when he saw the grin splitting her little face.

“Good job, Baby Girl!” he said, meeting her in the shallows. He scooped his daughter up into arms and tossed her little body up into the air, much to the child’s delight.

Mac carried her away from the water and set her on her little feet in the grass. His baby could talk up a storm when she wanted and proceeded to tell him all about her spectacular diving skills while he nodded along and toweled her off. She only stopped talking to giggle when he ruffled the towel through her wild mass of curls.

Now snugly burritoed up in the towel, Jacqueline sat down on her father’s lap and cuddled into his shoulder. Mac’s heart melted, he would give almost anything if it meant this moment wouldn’t have to end.

“Did you talk to Mama?” she asked

“About what, Princess?” Mac tried to stall but just like her mother, his daughter wasn’t having it.

“You know what,” she turned those beautiful brown eyes on him. “My lullaby. Why does it make you sad?”

“Well,” he sighed. “I guess because it reminds me of my Mama. She died when I was about your age and singing that song for you, like she used to for me, makes me miss her.”

“Oh.” 

That was all she said but she looked so upset, like she’d done something wrong. Mac found himself pulling her closer and mumbling reassurances into her ear. He stroked her cheek and told her that he wasn’t upset, that she hadn’t done anything bad, that he loved her. He told her that his Mama would have loved her too and would have wanted him to sing that lullaby to her. 

Even as he said it he knew it was true. His mom would have loved Jacqueline as much as he and Riley did. And since his daughter couldn't know her grandmother, it was his job to pass on the memories he had of her. Even if she wasn’t real.

God he wanted her to be real.

“Can I ask you something, Baby?” he asked once her sniffles had died down. She nodded her head in answer.

“You told Mama that we weren’t ready for you, that we both had to decide we wanted you. But we do want you, Sweetheart. We both do. We want you so bad it aches. So what else do we need to do before we can have you with us?” He didn’t want to scare her, but feeling her in his arms again had reignited his desperation to hold her in the real world.

“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “I don’t think I get to be with you until you tell Grandpa James what you want to tell him. And I think Mama has to talk to Grandpa Elwood. I don’t think it will take long after that”

There she goes again, knocking the wind out of him with knowledge she couldn't possibly have. Mac didn’t know what to say. It was so much easier to just not think of his father at all, that Mac had almost forgotten how much he still had left to say to the man. But could he actually say it? That was another question entirely.

Then there was the matter of Riley and Elwood. Mac did his best to be supportive as Riley attempted to salvage some semblance of a relationship with her father. Riley never talked about her childhood with the man, but the little he’d learned from Jack made his blood boil. That conversation would be no easier than his. But it would be worth every excruciating second if it meant his little girl could come into the world.

“Daddy,” she whispered after a long heavy silence. “Could you sing to me, just once, before you go back?”

He wanted to argue. He wanted to hold her close and never let her go again. Goddammit, he wanted his child! But the dream was already fading around the edges, and Mac knew he would wake up soon. His heart was breaking, but what could he do? So he gave his baby what she wanted. He sang to her until the world went black.

“Loo, loo, loo, I'll take you dreaming  
Through the rainy night  
To a place behind the raindrops  
Where the stars are bright

You may not find gold or silver  
But a richer prize  
Waits for you behind the raindrops  
If you close your eyes

Tonight, tonight  
When all the world's asleep  
We will tiptoe home with a wonderous star  
A star you can always keep

And years from now when you go dreaming  
When you're very old  
Though your crown be rich with rubies  
Diamonds set in gold  
None will shine as bright  
As the star we'll find  
Tonight”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think. Your ideas and suggestions are honestly so helpful.
> 
> I'm Blown Away by the amount of support this story has gotten. Thank you all so much!
> 
> Love,  
> Little Violent One


End file.
